Just had another genius text from Mom. The latest animal activities in the 'shire are causing her yet more concern. I can't rewrite this, it's far more amusing to just relay the conversation:
Mom: "Fun and games here! one of the big shire horses over the road is lying down in the stable and can't get back up so they've sent for the fire brigade. Fire engine blocking the lane, straps and tackle. What if that happens on your wedding day???"
Mom: "There's another fire engine just turned up and two more men in a red van! I love firemen!"
Me: "Oh my goodness, does it really require all them blokes to pick up a horse?"
Mom: "Not really but it's not too busy round here fire-wise although they had to come to the lady up the road on sunday night, her boiler caught fire. You think you've chosen a quiet little wedding venue?! Wrong!"
Four hours later she sends an update:
"So, two fire engines with full crew, two back up vehicles and a total of 20 people later, the horse is up! And it was Bernard* over the road with his mini JCB that did it in the end!"
So there you go. According to Mom, there's clearly a very real danger of two dozen bored firemen gatecrashing the wedding. Of all the concerns I thought I might have about the big day, that was NOT one of them.
*For those who don't know, Bernard is the mildly eccentric gentleman that lives opposite Mom. He owns a lot of the land in the area and he's going to be a 'lending' us some car park space on the day. He's fond of cherry brandy and the Daily Sport, and likes chopping down his trees and then cutting them into logs. And obviously, he owns a JCB.
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